"It's funny to think of how different your life would be if......."

It's April.

The middle of April.

My Birthday is on Sunday the 22nd.  

"It's funny to think of how different your life would be if you never met the people who changed it." _ Author Unknown

It's so crazy what has happened to me since I arrived in the beginning of September.  I have meet so many people.  Some I only knew for a day, others I will be in contact with for a long time.  The littlest bit of kindness shown towards me will not be forgotten.  I've been so many places and my eyes have seen so many interesting things.  I've tried new foods. Been to new cities.  Thought new thoughts.  Some of my beliefs have changed.  I've been on this Earth for close to 17 years (mas o menos) and I believe that I have experienced much more than the average American teenager will ever experience.  I say that respectively of course. 

Not many teens are thrown into a situation where they have to fend for themselves.  No one speaks your language.  This is not your country.  You are a little shy and unsure.  You are not sure what classes you have.  The first day of school in Sevilla was one of the WORST days of my life.  WORST.  I emphasize the word WORST once more.  But my last day,  was also one of the hardest.  I came to love each and everyone of those kids.  Some of them were extremely good at English.  But essentially, they are my Spanish friends.  I talk to at least one of them each day.  Malaga is beautiful.  It is peaceful and chaotic at the same time.  The ocean gives it mystery the mountains in the background give it character.  However, even with this said.  Sevilla is my love.  The city.  My friends.  I may have not gotten along with a few people there, but that's life.  I do not have any hostile feelings towards anyone. 

Adults, children, kids my age.  Random people on the street.  People from different countries.  Everyone has changed my life or offered some sort of effect.  Every second.... you change.  You burn a calorie, or you eat a couple hundred.  You think a new thought.  You remember.  You smile, cry, yell....etc  You dream new dreams.  You get enthusiastic you get depressed.  The wish that you wished for on a star came true. Or didn't.  You CHANGE.  You want something new.  You throw something out.  You doubt yourself. You believe in yourself.

It's scary yet beautiful..... Change.  In my opinion, it's not what comes after that scares me, it's the responsibility I have. I know that moment of truth is coming. That moment of truth scares me the most.  I Choose A or B.  And the consequences are different for each choice.  You will adjust to the changes.  It's just taking that leap.  Choosing to put your toe over the line.  Over the point of no return.  You can't take something back.  Something you said, thought, saw... You can try to hypnotize yourself, but it still happened.  (Please, let's not bring Philosophy into this. I'm talking here.) My ability, the POWER to make something happen is within me.  I have learned that I am capable of anything I want.  I'm not talking about buying the moon, or becoming the next Princess (well... hey! ya never know).  I'm saying that if I really want to pass that math test.  I can make it happen.  

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." Marilyn Monroe said that.  Imperfection is beauty.  Even the most beautiful faces are somewhat asymmetrical.  Nature, is full of imperfections.  It still takes my breath away.  Live each day so you won't regret it.  I'm not asking you to go out and get drunk or run up the down escalators.  (Well I did the 2nd once.  OK a few times.  FINE, even a security guard has given me a look)  

Being boring is awful.  Sitting around for something to happen will not get you anywhere.  It's a hard task to make a change, get off your bum and fight for what you want.  But it's necessary.  Hey, If you make a mistake.  You will learn.  No one is perfect.  According to Marilyn, if imperfection is beauty, then perfection would be grotesque.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, " People are always getting ready to live, but never living."  You can't sit in your room at your desk and keep asking yourself "WHAT IF?" I curse those words.  It is a poisonous combination of two harmless words.  It will give you nightmares.  They will pester you all daylong.  I will never be able to say, 'what if.'  Sure, They might pass through my mind, but I shrug my shoulder's, roll my eyes and say "Well, it really doesn't matter now!"  Lo hecho esta hecho.  What's done is done.  I've learned here, that you CAN go into a situation and wing it.  (MOST the time)  Going to a new city for the day? Google the place. Get some ideas.  And just GO!  Lost?  Ask someone which direction.  End up some place unexpected?  Awesome.  I was walking home from church.  This one elderly man asked me where some road was and we ended up having a hour long conversation.  He was Spanish.  But when you're only going to know a person for 1 hour.....you don't have to be shy.  On vacation?  Like my mother says, "You're never going to see these people again."  

Ralph also famously said, "Imitation is suicide."  Don't try to be someone else.  BElieve in YOUrself. Don't sell yourself out for some cheap sideshow act.  Take a breath.  Smile.  Don't worry that people are judging you.  You are a beautiful person.  I'll pull a Lady Gaga, 'You were born this way.'

Lots upon which to ponder.  I have pictures from the Alhambra in Granada.  And a few stories.  

Un beso.

Adios,

Kates